Bald Guys On The Bench
Bald Guys On The Bench
Any Given Sunday, Again
Recorded October 5th, 2025
The weekend tried to break us—and we loved every minute. We open mid-drive with the Patriots and Bills and ride the wave into a college slate where Penn State stumbles at UCLA, Texas loses its shine, and Miami looks like a problem again. The throughline is impossible to ignore: parity is now a feature, not a bug. Between NIL leverage, the transfer portal, and thin depth charts, old assumptions about who should win no longer hold. We share a suite-side story with Taylor Heinicke at Old Dominion, then pull the camera back to show how the portal boosts small programs and guts them the very next season.
On Sunday, the NFL gave us the sharp edges. We unpack the Chargers’ offensive line chaos, a helmet-to-helmet no-call that flipped momentum, and a league-wide crackdown on illegal formations and shifts that’s catching teams flat-footed. The Eagles’ swings, Rams’ fourth-and-one faceplant, and Cardinals’ mind-bending sequence detonated survivor pools in real time. If you care about the details—protection calls, goal-to-go play design, officiating points of emphasis—this is a clinic in how little things turn into outcomes and how quickly a “safe” pick becomes a ticket to nowhere.
We round it out with MLB playoff volatility and why October rewards timing over payroll, and we look ahead to hockey’s return with plans to hit T-Mobile live. It’s a full, fast tour—stories, trends, and the kind of real-time reaction that makes football season addictive. If you’re here for sharp takes, human moments, and zero fluff, hit play, then tell us: which “can’t-lose” team do you trust least next week? Subscribe, share with a friend who lives for upsets, and drop a review to keep the bench buzzing.
#baldguysonthebench #graboneandcrackone #nfl #collegefootball #nittanylions #pennstate #jamesfranklin #miamihurricanes #steelers #lachargers #losbolts #mlbplayoffs #yankees
Welcome to another episode of the Bald Guys on the Bench Podcast with your hosts Graham Cohen and Scott Wasco.
Graham:What's up everyone? Welcome back to another episode of The Bald Guys on the Bench. Scotty, it's week five NFL. How you doing, brother?
Scott:Uh I was doing better until the four o'clock window game started. Sheesh. Or not not started, sorry. Finished. Right. But uh anyhow, we're about to talk about it. You know what we do? Grab it, crack it. Let's go. Let's go. Fourth quarter of New England Buffalo game. Your boy had a feeling, took Buffalo plus or New England plus eight and a half. My son's literally laughing at me as I'm telling him about it. He goes, You're dumb. Ain't happening. Hey, any given Sunday.
Graham:Right? Is the story of week five and some of these games that happened today?
Scott:Not week five, dude. The season. I mean, the Browns beating the Packers. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, dude. All I know is, oh, Dalton Knox getting a little reception there. Uh, anyhow, as we're starting off the episode, 10 minutes left. New England's up 20 to 10 in Buffalo. Uh we just grabbed it. We just cracked it. Graham, how was your weekend? What'd you do, bro?
Graham:Weekend was pretty chill. Uh, spent a lot of time just watching college football all day yesterday, threw in a little uh playoff baseball. What? Uh and then uh we had some UFC last night, had some action last night for that, was good. And then, you know, it's Sunday, up early and watching all day. What about you, brother?
Scott:Yeah, same thing. You know, had to work yesterday. Uh then last second decision to go to the old dominion game, play in coastal Carolina. Kellen and I went last night, had a great time, had a blast. Uh, but you know, didn't get to watch a lot of college football yesterday because of work and everything. But the one thing I kept monitoring was the Penn State UCLA game. And I was just like, I'm sorry, what is the score? What's going on? And in fact, I think I texted you and I was like, uh, UCLA, and you're like, oh shit, I just looked. Dude.
Graham:I I folks, as you can tell, speechless. Um you want to crack off with that right now, or you want to keep going on?
Scott:Yeah, it's the first thing in the notes. Penn State UCLA. I mean the way Penn State has played this year.
Graham:Well, they started off, did they start off preseason number two or number three? Somewhere up there. Yeah, it was two or three. Uh rankings came out earlier today, not even in the top 25.
Scott:You know who else isn't in the top 25? Who? Texas. Yeah. And correct me if I'm wrong, but weren't they number one week one against Ohio State? Yeah. And you know what the same fact about Texas and Penn State is so far this year? Dude, going into week six, Texas and Penn State have not beaten a team in one of the Power Four conferences. Heyo. Keel. Let's go. No, we're playing against him. Oh, whatever. Whatever. It doesn't matter. Doesn't matter.
Graham:The way our fantasy teams look right now.
Scott:It's yeah, but dude, though the most embarrassing thing about the Penn State loss we were just talking about before we got on. UCLA wins their 0-4. Did you see what UCLA called the student body rushing the field after the win? I mean, was there 12 people?
Graham:I didn't. Dude, on each side of the end zone, and in even around the sides, there was so much of the stadium that was blocked off by their tarp. It was embarrassing. They're all in four. How many of the college kids that were at that game were like, hey bro, call a friend, come to the game. I mean, there was what do you think? Was there even 5,000 people there?
Scott:I'm I would say yes.
Graham:I mean, it's hard to tell because that stadium holds like what, a hundred?
Scott:Yeah, it holds a shit ton. Yeah. So but but I mean, God.
Graham:You know, the defense didn't look very good. The offense atrocious. And all I can say is for as much as everyone was saying, look, this is Penn State's year, they're gonna go deep. The quarterback stayed so he could get quote unquote revenge or at least take us back, you know, take us to the title game. How's that looking now? Uh, but what I said to you yesterday was, and I'm gonna say it now, after watching them play these last couple games, I'm not mad. And you might be saying, Graham, why aren't you mad?
Scott:Well, when you put when you put it in perspective last night, I agreed with you the way you talked about it.
Graham:Right.
Scott:Uh, dude, there was 39,000 people there.
Graham:All right, I was off by 35 or 30.
Scott:Well, like you said, in a stadium that h that holds X amount, 100, it looked pretty empty.
Graham:Yeah, I mean, peanuts out there, crickets. So this loss, the biggest thing is this. Their coach, Franklin. He had a nice resume before he came to Pittsburgh. That's great. He has a bunch of on Penn State. Yeah, I slap myself already. Penn State. I mean, at least it's the right state. Right? Um he has a great record, but the problem is he can't beat Ohio State. Hasn't really beat Michigan very much. Really much? He's been there for 12, 13 years. I just don't know off the top of my head. Because I don't know how often they play each other. I mean, granted, this the stat is all off the top of my head, but I do know. I don't think he's beaten a top five team in the country. And it's just like Penn State is a blue chip school. They are known for putting out linebackers, putting out tight ends. Like they're known for having good defense. You know, they're not really known for being a great offensive team, but they do well enough, they hang around. They're they're usually for the most part always competitive.
Scott:Hey, where'd Micah Parsons come from? Penn State. Where'd Abdul Carter come from? Penn State. Where'd Saquon come from? I mean linebacker, Penn State linebacker you.
Graham:Exactly. So they have a good program, but it just it comes to a point where good enough is not good enough. And for the longest time, they're like, all right, is is he on the hot seat? Is he on the hot seat? Well, let me tell you something. After the end of this game, if he makes it through the end of the season, most likely he will. But there is no chance, especially in this NIL era, no chance he's the coach next year. And honestly, I ain't mad at it.
Scott:Did you see what he said last night? No. Oh, Ohio State lost two games last year and won the national championship. We can do that. Shit. Ohio State also lost to Oregon. At Oregon, I believe. Yeah. And to Michigan. Granted, Michigan was dog shit last year, but it's still the number one rivalry in college football. Right.
Graham:But I look as I said to you, and I'll say it to you guys, this loss, which is so egregious, this is what needed to happen to have the organization be like, all right, we need new leadership. This is the same thing as with the Chargers two years ago, or three years ago, whatever it is.
Scott:Whatever, when the Raiders blew our doors off of Thursday night football. It's the greatest loss in the history of the Chargers.
Graham:Exactly. And as we were watching it, we're I mean, we were going back and forth, like, this is bullshit, da da da da. And you're just you're just saying to me, he's like, dude, I'm stoked right now. And look, look what came out of it. So I'm trying to have the silver lining as that. Look what will come out of it. And it's just the thing that sucks as a fan, there's still so many games left. It's tough watching your team knowing they're out of it. I mean, right?
Scott:100%.
Graham:At this point, so at this point, it's all spoilers. So if we can play spoilers, or if we can beat some of those marquee matchups, perfect. If not, it is what it is.
Scott:So long. So long. Peace out. Dude, speaking of peace out, Florida and Texas.
Announcer:I know, right?
Scott:Uh Archie Manning. If Homeboy's last name wasn't Manning, do you think he would have had the hype? No. Yes.
Announcer:Some.
Scott:Yes. I mean, remember the NIL deal Homeboy signed. Yeah. And who was their starting quarterback for the last two years that he was backing up? Yours. Yeah. Okay. Uh, if he's the next coming of Peyton, is he gonna be backing anybody up?
Graham:At this point, is he the next coming of Eli? Either or, bro. Either or.
Scott:I mean, uh killing me. Dude, uh, whatever. Texas lose it again. Yeah. But like like we were saying, both teams were in top five beginning of the season. Not even ranked.
Graham:That's why you gotta play the game, brother.
Scott:Dude, hey Texas, welcome to the SEC.
Graham:Yeah, exactly. You know who did look good though? Miami, bro. Took the words right out of my mouth.
Scott:Dude, especially their first road game of the year.
Graham:Dude, how's their schedule lined up with for that? Dude.
Scott:Ridiculous. First road game of the year, bringing back the rivalry, you know. Remember the old school rivalry? I do rivalry, Miami and Florida State, and everybody running around. The you, the you, dude, the you is back.
Graham:Yeah. Well, I mean, it helps when you have Michael Irvin running down the sidelines every game.
Scott:Dude, remember last night we're watching the game and he got drilled by somebody run out of balance. I was like, oh damn, Michael Irvin. He just got injured. But dude, they look good. They do, they look really good. And remember, your boy's been talking about them since before college football started. Yeah. Texas Tech. You have. You have. Dude, dude. Insane. And it helps to have this new booster or whatever, spending all this money. And you know, college football has forever changed because of this. And we're gonna get onto that topic here on the next game where that's on the notes. But dude, he spent spent the money. When have you ever heard of Texas Tech having a good defense? I never exactly. Yeah, they're not over that. The only thing that Texas Tech is known for is what? Gunslinging. Airing it out. Back when Cliff was there, you know, slinging the rock. What about before who was before Cliff? What was his name? Remember? Dude that is somebody in like a sweat box or something. Remember, yeah. I forget his name.
Graham:And then because after it was over, I think he went to like Washington State or something.
Scott:Yes, yes. Leach. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Leach. Remember that whole scandal bullshit? Yeah. Dude, you're getting a free education. Go sit over there in the sweat outside. Leave me alone. I'll see you in a half hour. Go sweat it out. You're too fat. Oh wow. But dude, I mean, Miami, yeah. They were laying the wood last night. And I told you last week, I texted you, Miami, minus four and a half. Do it. And you talked to me Friday night, and you're like, You still confident that? I'm like, I don't know, dude. Then the game starts out and they're like dominating. It got a little sketchy at the end. Right. I mean, they ended up winning, but dude, it was sketchy in the fourth quarter. I think they had like under 50 yards in the fourth quarter. Yeah. It was no bueno.
Graham:Well, when teams have leads, they're just like, all right, Ben, don't break. It's like, folks, that theory does not, I mean, not that it doesn't work, but the success rate of it is not as high as you think.
Scott:And dude, pedal to the god dang medal. Absolutely. Finish them. Finish them off.
Graham:You know, the one thing about Miami that I am happy for them, and I can't believe I'm actually saying this because for the longest time, especially, you know, like 15-20 years ago, I hated Miami.
Scott:Oh. He did not, no chance. That's going to be a flag. That's out of bounds too, right? I don't know, dude.
Graham:But with Miami, I'm actually appreciating the little vindication for Carson Beck. I ain't mad at it. You know what I mean? Like, he was kind of, especially during the offseason, was dude. That's a pick.
Scott:He had both feet in bounds.
Graham:Oh, I hope not.
Scott:Pass interference.
Graham:Praise the Lord, Jesus. Alright, can you give me a couple dump offs? I can't even remember his job to cook, please.
Scott:Oh, he did push him out of bounds. Oh, 51.
Graham:Yeah, it's probably not a good idea.
Scott:Good try, though. Hey. But dude, Miami back in the hunt. I mean, Ohio State, obviously number one. They still haven't played a team. No. You know, I mean, they're still talented, obviously. Right. As we know. But dude, college football, it's crazy right now.
Graham:It is. But that's the exciting part. In the years prior, it wasn't. It always came down to the same six teams. At least now with the NIL and things changing, it makes things a lot more interesting. And honestly, I'm all for it. I really am.
Scott:Hey, we talked about it yesterday a lot before we it's not even on the notes. When is the last time you watched Vanderbilt at Alabama? And were like, oh my god, Vanderbilt looks good. And this game is close. I mean, yeah, we all know Vanderbilt beat Bama last year in at Vanderbilt. Yeah. But dude, that was a game. Yeah. I mean, the old Commodores were, I mean, they're nationally ranked. I mean, good God. Yeah, he dropped it, Graham. Sorry. And if anybody can hear right now, Graham's having a seizure on the other side.
Graham:Are you kidding me?
Scott:Did you see where he threw the ball? He threw it at his ankles. How's he supposed to catch up?
Graham:That was the first time he throws him the ball. The first time.
Scott:Yeah, because he was getting destroyed.
Graham:Yeah, I know that, but like he doesn't need to. Oh my lord. But folks, I just need over two catches from Cook. That's why I'm having a panic attack right now.
Scott:Third and six, four minutes left, 447. Come on, Patriots, make a stop. Oh, what a grab. Who was that? Coleman, probably. Oh no. Yeah. Have a game, Coleman. Why don't you? Sheesh. But you know, as we're sticking in the college football theme, I mentioned it earlier. Last second decision. Got out of work a little early. Decided to go to the old dominion game, and you know, was pumped. Told you I'm like, it's going to be a blowout. Take 19 and a half point favorites playing Coastal Carolina. Uh we were talking about taking the line, and I was like, I'm not too confident in the total line, but I'm going to take a minus 10 and a half in the first. That was easy peasy, which I would have bet my house on it. But dude, anyhow, at the game, knew Taylor was in town, and by Taylor, I mean Heinekee. Uh he was in town playing some golf, and we were supposed to play golf tomorrow, but things changed. And uh after the opening drive for Old Dominion, they literally on the Jumbotron. I was telling you this last night, it was kind of funny. Uh we all know Taylor Swift's new album came out on Friday, and they did on the Jumbotron a Taylor cam. And I was like, Oh, he's here. I don't know why I didn't text him before the game. And so they're like showing all these people, and they're like, not that Taylor, this Taylor. And of course they show Heineke. Right. And instantly your boy texted him, and I was like, yo, Kellen and I are here. Or I said, my son and I are here, come say hi or sneak me into the suite wherever you are. And he's like, instantly, I got you. Nice. He goes, I got I got two passes for you. So Kellen and I went hung out with Taylor. It was a good time. Uh had some chats, talked some golf, talked, you know, NFL, talked everything. And, you know, like I told you last night, the first thing he says as we're walking up, my hand finally feels better. Because as I see him, he's like, you know, what's up? Or Chattan taps me up the high five hug thing, and I'm like, God damn, man, NFL guys, they're strong as shit. I'm this old fat bald golf pro. Like, god damn, my hand hurts. But the first thing he says as he, you know, hugs Kellen is, My God, you're huge. And last night when I got home, I was looking. The last time Kellen seen him was when he they were playing catch on the putting arena at my old club. Dude, that was three and a half years ago. So it was like, yeah, Kellen's gotten super big. He's out of bounds. So it was awesome. We had a blast. It was good to see him, had some chats about golf and stuff. And you know, uh, like I told you last night, I think Kellen was happier that Taylor remembered his name more than hanging out with him.
Graham:Right.
Scott:You know, as soon as we took a picture, I sent it to you. Kellen, like literally sent it to all his high school football dudes. You know, look who wanted to hang out. Yeah, he was he was he was the G last night. He was so like, yeah, all 100%, dude. It was hilarious. It was hilarious. But the funniest part was he sends it to like his best friend Fletcher, who we've mentioned numerous times on the show. He sends a picture to Fletcher, and Fletcher's only response was, dude, how hot are the cheerleaders? Loved it, dude. It was hilarious. Funny shit. But I had a good time, you know. Old Dominion dominated, but back to the NIL thing. Old Dominion has his quarterback that's a true sophomore that's dominating the world. Okay. Mm-hmm. She won't be there next year. Because of the NIL, because of all the new changes in college football. Good for him. I mean, the NIO and the transfer portal and all this shit, it sucks for schools like Old Dominion.
Announcer:Yeah.
Scott:For the smaller schools. Like, they're insane. This dude is insane. But it sucks, man. It sucks. But that's the way of the world now. College. I mean, look at Connecticut, dude. They signed all these dudes. Did he make that? Yeah, he did. Uh Connecticut and college basketball. They didn't have a ton of recruits, they just had a ton of dudes in the transfer portal. Yeah.
Graham:But you know, see, that's the only thing about the NIL that's negative about it is I think it really hurts the development of players. It's because you don't stay at schools long enough.
Scott:You know what I mean? Exactly. Exactly. I mean, old Dominion, Heinekee, like we were talking last night, best player in the history of the school. Yeah. Okay. This kid could be the next. Yeah. And the dude is insane. Yeah. I mean, he's that good, but he's going to go somewhere to a top 25 program. Guarantee it. Yeah. Guarantee it. That's how good this kid is. But anyhow.
Graham:Come to Penn State.
Scott:Dude, I'll be pumped for him wherever he goes. I mean, Old Dominion's sitting there four and one. Little old Old Dominion. Their only loss was uh to a top 10 school, Indiana, by 12, week one. Yeah, that ain't bad. Yeah. Blew the doors off of Virginia Tech. Yeah. But anyhow.
Graham:I mean, I know the school more from college basketball than I do from football. Because didn't you say to me their football program hasn't been around that long?
Scott:Yeah. Uh it was there. I think we looked, I looked it up last night because you asked me. Yeah. And they were there like they had a program from 1930 to 1940, and then the football program was gone. Yeah. And then it came back in early, late 2000, like 2008, 2009, or whatever. But uh, you know, Bobby Wilder, friend of the program, friend of your boy. He was the first head coach when they brought football back. You know, he left. He's now a Tennessee Tech. Uh, have you seen what my boy's putting up at Tennessee Tech? He also moving on up. Dude, so long Tennessee Tennessee Tech. Y'all better enjoy my boy Wilder because uh he ain't gonna be there next year. Boom by I mean, first year taking over a program that came in last place and then ties for the conference championship in his first year, and now he's nationally ranked and averaging. I mean, off the top of my head, I'm just gonna say about 50 points. I mean, it's probably more. Yeah. But dude, let's go, Bobby. Right? Yeah. Let's go. Anyhow, it was a great weekend. Kellen and I had a blast. Kellen had so much fun last night, and you know, always fun to hang out with Taylor and talk some shit to him about taking his money on the golf course. That shit's gonna happen here in the future.
Graham:But so when you were talking to him, I'm sure you had to ask. Like, did he get any calls with all the injuries?
Scott:A lot of calls, but I don't know if I'm allowed to say it or not. But oh, all right. I don't know. Yes, he's gotten a lot of calls throughout the NFL with a lot of quarterback injuries, but you know, it is what it is. Fair enough. I'm just not I'm not saying anything. No, no, it's on good. You know, don't want to mess that whole thing up. All I want to say is TH4, get that wallet ready. Your boy, Scotty Wad needs some of that NFL cash.
Graham:Let's go.
Scott:And I'm gonna send this to you personally. Yeah.
Graham:Hey, my caddy fees are real cheap, I swear.
Scott:Yeah. I'm making I'm gonna be making my way down to Hot Lana and getting some of that cash down. Oh, my Lord. Yeah. But anyhow, dude, let's switch right over. NFL. Let's do it. Started off, started off the week with another European game. Minnesota there for two weeks in a row, losing the entire game. It was funny. I I don't know if you were up because I know it was early. No, no, yeah. But dude, it was so funny. Like, instantly, they're like, this was so classic announcer jinx bullshit. They're like, Miles Garrett hadn't had one, you know, pass rush, hadn't had one. And the very next play, Miles Garrett just absolutely destroyed Carson Wentz. I was just like, bro, Carson Wentz is saying, hey, whoever you dumbass announcers are, can you stop mentioning that bullshit?
Announcer:Right.
Scott:It was just classic. But hey, Minnesota got the dub. Last minute tutty from Addison, who was, by the way, benched at the beginning of the game. Did you hear that? What? From what I heard, Addison decided he was not gonna join the team. He was gonna go venture out and explore London by himself.
Graham:What, during the game? Before the game? No, yesterday.
Scott:What? Yeah, he did not play one play in the first quarter. First quarter, I believe. Yeah. Dude. I steal from you. Exactly. Exactly.
Graham:What?
Scott:I don't know.
Graham:Hey, he saved the day.
Scott:Yeah, he did. But dude, jump right in. You know, Eagles, donkeys, my boy Greg, uh, dad from my flag football team, Shane's dad, sent me a picture early this morning, him and Shane and their daughter and all their Eagles gear. Go birds. And I'm like, oh, that's right, they're going to the game. I was like, hell yeah. I'm like, let's go. And dude, that game, Eagles straight dominated. Until they didn't. Dude. I'm just gonna say this. There were a lot of weird calls today throughout the NFL. When the Donkeys had it third and whatever, and they'd dump it off to whoever it was. I don't know if it was Dobbins or if it was Harvey. And they're the offensive players trying to get more yards, and the Eagles defensive player hits him and they throw an unsportsman like conduct penalty. Instant first down. I I I just uh I I don't know, dude. There's so many penalties they're just not fucking consistent. Nothing is consistent.
Graham:Yeah.
Scott:Nothing. The only thing that is consistent, and TP asked me about it earlier today. He goes, have you noticed all these penalties on offenses this year that I'm gonna read his exact text? Uh he goes. Is it just me or are there more illegal formations and shifts? Do offenses not know how to line up anymore? And I responded because I heard this. I was like, funny that you say that. The NFL said going into this year they were gonna call that penalty more this year than ever. Yeah. There was more oh, what a pass. More illegal shifts and illegal formation penalties through four weeks this year than the entire season last year.
Graham:That's insane.
Scott:I mean And Philly Philly had one of those called on them.
Graham:Right. I mean, to pig to piggyback on that, sorry to cut you off. In this game tonight, earlier in the first quarter, um, the Patriots got called for um offensive offsides, I believe is what it was. And you know. Because we've talked about this before, but basically, when all the players are lined up, the refs will use like the players will look at the ref, and the ref will give them a thumbs up or thumbs down if they're aligned correctly. Yep. The NFL says we're no longer gonna give you that signal anymore. You have to know yourself. What? Yeah. The NFL came out and said that.
Scott:The funny thing is when Kellum was playing wide receiver last year in middle school, I used to always laugh because he would always like point to the referee when he's lined up. I'm like, he's been watching too much god dang TV. Right. And they're not doing it anymore.
Graham:Yeah, have you noticed how the players don't don't point to the refs anymore? I have not.
Scott:Yeah. The refs are not helping anymore. Wow. So what are they doing? Getting paid for being delivered? I mean, getting paid for being delusional. Getting paid for like I said, getting paid for being a jerk off. I mean, and as we transition to the next game of the notes, speaking of a referee getting paid to be a jerk off, uh Chargers dominating the game up 10 to nothing, driving past the Quentin Johnson. He fumbles. You started lighting me up via text. What the F is this? That was helmet to helmet. Dude, not only was it helmet to helmet, that was the definition of being helmet to helmet.
Announcer:Yeah.
Scott:Chargers lose the ball, Washington recovers. The end. Momentum, the end.
Graham:And the worst part about it, and we talked about it. Not only did the refs miss it somehow. And look, I know you can't throw flags after a play is over, considering, I mean, you see the not the jumbo tron, but you know, but they have it so fi. But it's like the amazing circle, yeah, whatever the hell you want to call it. The announcers, including Tom Brady, including Tom Brady, who I mean, let's be real. I mean, if there's any quarterback that ever, you know, got the most special treatment of all time besides Patrick Mahomes, it's just like, how did they not see this? Like, I'm literally texting you and I'm like, am I blind? Like, dude, how? Like, did I not see that? And look, folks, momentum is a real thing. Like, that literally changed the complexion of the whole game.
Scott:Dude, that was insane to me after the game, and you and I were talking and remembering back to it that nobody mentioned it. No one.
Graham:Nobody. And I'm like, like, was I wrong? Like, what was that not?
Scott:They kept showing the replay of it. And I'm like, Yeah, that's the god dang definition of Helmutel. Right. I don't TP's like, I didn't see it. I had kids running in front of me. I saw the fumble, I didn't see it. Then he saw the replay and he goes, 100%. Andy, who's the biggest negative Nancy ever? He's like, Yeah, he's calling Quentin Johnson lazy. Lazy motherfucker just got hit in a goddamn helmet. Right, exactly. Put your phone down and stop texting yourself, dude, in the conversation. Watch the goddamn game. I mean. Just saying. But dude, uh I don't know. It it was a shit game. You know, we talked about it last week when we lost to the Giants. Oh man, come on. Patriots have a field goal attempt to win the game. Well, there's 20 seconds left. Yes! Made it.
Graham:How how are you in front of me?
Scott:I don't know. Now I just froze. Let's go. Unbelievable. Let's go. But dude, offensive line gets injured again. We had four different people playing right guard for us. Yes. Four. And and Brady said it, dude, in the first half, talking about the, you know, we'll just call it revolving door, that is our offensive line. He goes, if you give Justin Herbert a solid offensive line and time, he's the best passer in the NFL. Don't say I disagree with it. But Brady also said, Brady also said, you know, you saw the beat in the game. Marion Hampton never left the field. Yeah. He was like, Chargers got to get somebody to help this guy out. Yeah. What happens? Where was he the last five minutes of the game? MIA. Banged up his ankle. Was seen literally leaving the stadium in a walking boot. Yeah. Dude. And something that is insane to me for how good we were at the beginning of the season. You know, I I did the numbers. I went and recapped the first five games for the Chargers. Dude, first three games of the season, okay, for the Chargers. Played the Chiefs week one, Raiders week two, Broncos week three. We had a combined 15 penalties for 107 yards for the first three weeks of the season.
Announcer:Yeah.
Scott:Okay. Week four, last week against the Giants, we had 14 penalties for 107 yards. This week, we had 10 penalties for 85. So the last two weeks, we've had 24 penalties for 192 yards. What are you looking at?
Graham:Well, I mean, I can't hear what the commentators are saying. They were doing lines on the screen. I don't I don't know.
Scott:Um that's not a Jim Harbaugh team. No. You know, what's Jim Harbaugh for? Good offensive line. Running them. Good trenches.
Announcer:Yeah.
Scott:Good trenches. And we just got shellac today, dude.
Graham:Yeah.
Scott:On both sides of the ball on the offense and defensive line. I mean, the def the defense, I think they had 160 rushing yards.
Announcer:Yeah.
Graham:There was a few broken, broken runs that you're just like, what? And look, the nail in the coffin, I I mean, I hate to bring it up, but Herbie only had what three interceptions last year? Four?
Scott:Yeah.
Graham:And he already has five this year.
Scott:Hey, have you seen our offensive line?
Graham:No, no, no. I'm I'm not like I'm not saying that it's I'm just saying, like, but the one he had the the the one that he had that interception in the end zone, or like right in front of the end zone right now. Yeah, like that it was terrible. Didn't need to happen.
Scott:What didn't need to happen was Greg Roman and his bullshit calls on the goal line when it's first and goal on the two. I'm sitting here losing my shit and actually sent TP a fucking YouTube video. Have you ever heard of a play action bootleg? Play action bootleg, you hand it the whole entire defense thinks you're handing it off to Hampton, Vidal, Haskins, whoever it is. And then guess what? Herbie can walk into the end zone. And the video I sent was of Peyton Manning doing it. Dude, I've got more mobility than Peyton Manning does. I mean, dude, it was bad. I mean, the only the only thing about uh I don't know, the only thing that I have a smile on my face about is Keenan. Yeah. Third in Keenan, right? You know, Keenan's been dogged his whole career for this, for that. Well, guess what? Keenan is the fastest player in NFL history to reach a thousand career receptions.
Graham:Really?
Scott:Fastest player in NFL history to reach a thousand career receptions.
Graham:13 years. All right.
Scott:Yeah. I mean, it's the only thing that I can smile about.
Graham:I mean, there was also, well, there was one other thing, and what I thought you were gonna say was uh how about your number one wide receiver from last year finally got in the end zone?
Scott:The day day, yeah. I mean I did I did win a bet on that. I don't remember making it last night when I was talking to you. By the way, did you look at how long we talked on the phone last night? Yeah. I must have been hammered.
Graham:Well, dude, we started at the end of the the well, we started the Miami game, like the second half of the Miami game, and then after that was over, UFC was going on. So we were on the phone for like three hours. Uh easily.
Scott:Probably four, five. I was like, I don't even remember making this bet. I made the bet La Day Day anytime touchdown, I got a profit boost. 30% profit boost plus 273.
Announcer:There you go.
Scott:I don't even remember it. But yeah, we did watch a little whatchamacallit. Uh UFC. UFC. Well, I didn't watch it, I just listened to you. Yeah. Dude, but dude, I don't I don't know. I'm I'm not very I I always do my Chargers record prediction the day the schedule comes out, right? In May. And I'm spot on through five weeks. I had us three and two. Yes, but I didn't have us, I didn't have us three and oh against the Chiefs, Broncos, and Raiders. And you always I did have us I did have us beating the Giants. I had us losing to the Donkeys and losing the to Washington. But dude, I'm not too thrilled about my team right now. With our offensive line issues. And Rob keeps I'll let you go. Rob keeps going nuts about we need to trade, we need to trade, we need to trade. Bro, nobody trades offensive linemen that are decent. Nobody. Have you seen the NFL trade deadline the last, I'm just gonna say five years. How about the number one position that gets traded? Receivers. Yeah. What's the number one position that doesn't get traded? Uh offensive linemen. Why? Because they're that important to your franchise.
Graham:A hundred percent. Uh um quick question. Rob listens to the podcast. Uh sometimes. I don't know. No, I the only reason why I bring it up, and maybe we can clip it and send it to him. So, folks, excuse me, you know, our friends that do listen to this, they do know Rob, and maybe you can give him some shit for it. But, you know, Scott during the game was screenshotting me text between uh Rob, him, and his son Trevor, right? And he's screen, he's sending me these messages, and I'm looking at him like, oh my god, Rob. Now, granted, as a pre to preface this, Scott always says, especially about Rob, that Rob's one of those fans that like he lives on the edge. Like he's like, he needs to jump off the bridge type of guy. Yeah. Like, like there. So that being said, I'm like, oh, it can't be that bad. So when he's sending me these screenshots, I tell I tell Scott, I'm like, dude, you gotta do me a favor. You gotta add me to this group chat. And then he's like, I don't think you want me to do that. I'm like, what do you mean? 25 minutes later, he sends me another screenshot, and Rob is literally off the deep end, number one, but number two, he's arguing with his own son.
Scott:Like, dude, it's amazing.
Graham:His son was just like, dude, like he's trying to calm him down, and he's just like, you know what? F this and blah, blah, blah that, and you could do it. And I'm just like, all right, Scott, maybe I don't want to be in this group chat.
Scott:Dude, they they literally on our on our text thread made a $200 bet. Okay. I'm this one. Between Trevor and Rob. No, I didn't swing that one. Oh, okay. Because Rob said, We're gonna go three and seven. Okay, just the next four games we're losing. And Trevor goes, not losing to Miami and the Titans. And Rob says, make a bet. Trevor goes, I'll bet you $200 we don't, we're not gonna be three and seven. Make the bet solid right now. Done.
Graham:Hey Rob, can I get a piece of this action? Is my new team name gonna be?
Scott:Dude, speaking of jumping off the bridge, and I gotta call this, I gotta call this dude out. Because we've mentioned him numerous times on the on the show. Please. Jerry, aka Big Toilet. He sends me a text, okay. The Chargers NFL established 1970 and Padres established 1969, combined 111 years without a title. Unbelievable. 1963 AFL champion for the Chargers don't doesn't count. So then his next text is I hereby denounce any affiliation with the Padres as a fan. I quit.
Announcer:What?
Scott:So I am calling him out. We are making this into a reel. We are putting it on Instagram. I'm tagging him everywhere.
Graham:Got him! Dude. No, the best part was last night you were like during UFC, you're like, hey, you know, Jerry is the UFC guy, right? You know, he has all the you know, he has he's winning all these bets. And I'm like, all right, cool. So by the time we turned UFC on, we made it to the final two matches, which was the co-made event and the main event. And he's like, Yeah, Ofer. Yeah, dude's been on fire. The last two bets that we take as bet was homeboy first submission. Nope.
Scott:Ofer. Like, yeah. So I send Jerry a picture of my tattoo. I'm like, dude, I would never denounce my fandom for a team, especially with this. I'm connected for life. We can take care of that. He says, Have you seen enough yet? I'm like, nope. Denounce them.
Graham:Dude. So, Jerry, who's band lagging to jumping on?
Scott:Yeah, exactly. You're gonna go root for the doyers?
Graham:I'm not even gonna say anything.
Scott:I'll just Yeah, I was just like, I can't believe you said that. I'm screenshotting it. You know, have to bring it up tonight in the podcast. But dude, you're a fan of a team. When I had season tickets for the Chargers back in the day for X amount of years, everybody's like, oh, you haven't won a Super Bowl. You haven't won. Does that make me not be a fan? Yeah. Suck it, Raider fans. You won four Super Bowls. How long ago was that? And by the way, how'd that work out for you today against the Colts when Danny dimes lit y'all up like a god dang you? There's no way he's gonna go that direction. No, no way. Speaking of the Colts and Raiders, something we have not talked about. Uh Mark Sanchez. Bro. Dude. Dude. I was literally scoring a tournament at my club yesterday, and you sent me that screenshot yesterday of Sanchez getting stabbed. And I'm like, oh my god. And then as Kellen and I are walking to the old Dominion game after parking, you sent me the next part of it when it's saying that Mark Sanchez is the guilty party. And I'm like, and then I see today he attacked a 69-year-old man. I I like we always say on this up on this show, make it make sense. There's nothing that can make that make sense. About an Uber Eats driver or some bullshit? To be fair, like bro, go to In N Out. Oh, sorry, it's it's Indianapolis, they don't have that.
Graham:Well, you know, In and Out moved their uh headquarters to Tennessee, right? Or they're oh no, they talked about it. Yeah, they still have the West Coast. I don't know. But anyway, yeah, look. You know, everyone says, especially in this country, you know, real we are real big on second chances. I mean, I look, we don't know all the details, things haven't come out yet, the police haven't said a lot.
Scott:I mean, I all I know is Sanchez was dismissed from the hospital and taken directly to jail.
Graham:Yeah, I the only thing not defending the man by any means. The only thing that I will say is, and it's not an excuse at all, but you, me, a lot of our other friends, look, we will don't want to admit it, but we have definitely done some sh. I mean, we haven't stabbed anyone, but but clip it, yeah.
Scott:We've done a lot of shit in our lives, but I ain't ever attacked an Uber East driver, bro, that's 59 years old.
Graham:My point in saying it was his level of inebriation, which by the way, was a Friday night into Saturday, and you're working the following day, like you're gonna get that blackout drunk. Like he obviously was blackout. The Uber driver, his Uber East driver, and this is all speculation, folks. Speculation. Uber driver must have taken too long, finally showed up. They were arguing about a parking spot. Like I said, I I I'm not defending him by any means. I'm just we we don't have all the evidence. I'm just trying to throw ideas out there and see what may or may not be the situation. I have no idea. Like I said, not condoning any of this, but and not that it's funny, but the hilarity of the situation, it's just like when you read the optics from the outside, you're just like, wait, come again.
Scott:I mean, the screenshot you sent me when I was at work, I'm like feeling all bad for Mark Sanchez, and two hours later you're sending me another screenshot saying it's Mark's Edgez's fault and he's being arrested. And I'm like, what? And then Kristen this morning is reading it was a 69-year-old dude, and then hearing that he slashed homeboy's face. Oh, and I didn't even hear that. Wow, the old guy, then it's they're talking about it was over a parking spot, like Chipotle. Did you not get your food delivered fast enough? Like what how come the food restaurant has not been mentioned in any of this?
Graham:Because you know they're they're like we're missing out on free publicity right now. Exactly.
Scott:It's like I don't know. I I don't know. I and then you said somebody said it in our San Diego fantasy thread. Did he butt fumble the knife? Yeah, I saw that. I know it's not a laughing matter. No, no, no, he got it. 100% not, no. Hopefully, hopefully the old dude's you know good, but you still gotta laugh at it.
Graham:I man, Mark Sanchez. I have to I I'm speechless. I don't I don't know what to say. Like, there's no like he has a good lawyer. I mean, his best case scenario, best case, is no jail, community service, getting fired from CB or Fox, whichever one is. I think he's Fox, yeah. And that's it. Like that's best case scenario. Community service, no gym. No, this is all on the speculation of like charges, final charges still haven't been made, so it's hard to say. So it is what it is. Um, you know, you had a rough day with the Chargers, as did I watching them. I I mean look, the start of that game, I it just seemed like everything was going well for them. Myself and my team, the Steelers, look, I wasn't a huge fan at the start of the season about an early bye, but with how injuries have plagued our team, kind of a perfect timing, you know, and super excited about it. And that being said, we didn't play this week, and we moved up in our division. And you're like, wow, how is that possible? Uh well, let's uh let's think about it. Cleveland took an L. Uh a team we haven't talked about yet, but we'll get into Baltimore. Yeah, they took an L.
Scott:Oh, dude, they're toast. I saw the funniest thing about Baltimore, and it had a picture of their score at the end of the third quarter against the Bills, week one, and it said if you could imagine this team is now one and three going into week five. Would you believe it? Dude, you text me today, oh, CJ Stroud's having a game. And I'm like, Graham, you or I could have a game against that Baltimore defense. That's not that's not a big compliment.
Graham:Well, for how you feel about CJ Stroud, that's why I had to say it.
Scott:That guy can go kick rocks. But anyhow, dude, dude, Baltimore, and the weird thing is, and I was talking to my old club president yesterday about it, that's a big Steelers fan. You know, he's like, the weird thing is the Steelers are three and more, three and one. We don't know who they are. He goes, I don't know for good. I don't know anything. The whole AFC, the only team that anybody can say is good is the Bills. But yet the Ravens at one and three are still minus 185 to win the AFC North. They won't be after today. Yeah. Yeah, I just they're missing a shit ton of people, but dude, every team's missing people.
Graham:Yes, but it also comes down to, and what I've said on this podcast from day one. I know the saying, next man up. I get it, but you cannot say next man up when the people that you are missing are Pro Bowl players or all pros. Like you can't replace all pros with all pros.
Scott:You're talking to a guy that just left lost up, all pro left tackle in preseason Slater, and all pro right tackle in all.
Graham:Exactly. That's my point.
Scott:And people are out there blasting Herbert. Uh, I don't care if you're the greatest, if you're Tom Brady, Joe Montana, Peyton Manning combined into one person, if you don't have an offensive line, good luck.
Graham:Yeah. Uh by the way, don't forget you're uh right guard, too. So I mean, it's Becton, I mean, in out, in out, in out. I know, I know. So, and as I was telling you during the games earlier, I was like, why can't Pittsburgh play Baltimore now? Damn it. Like, this is just you know, people are gonna get healthy by the time we play them, and it's just like, are you kidding me right now? Son of uh but look, Pittsburgh coming off the bye.
Scott:We are hosting the Browns next week, which is super weird because normally when teams come back from Europe, they get a bye the next week. Well, usually that's weird. That's weird, but dude, I know we're 57 minutes into the show. Something we have not talked about. Uh Survivor Leagues getting destroyed this week. Rams losing Thursday night, Arizona losing today.
Graham:Let me ask you a question.
Scott:And not only no, go ahead. Ask it.
Graham:I think I know where you're gonna go with this. After what happened today with the Cardinals game, what is a crazier loss? That or week one with Cincy last year to the Patriots.
Scott:Which nobody saw. Week one, I would say week one, shit can happen. Right. Shit can happen. It's not that the Patriots beat the Bengals and that the Bengals lost, it's the Cardinals and how they lost today.
Graham:Exactly. 100%.
Scott:I think that's a bigger thing. Oh, I mean homeboy, homeboy ripping off that touchdown on third and one that dropped the ball before the goal line, which every angle I've looked at it, and we talked about it earlier. Was it conclusive that he dropped it before the goal line? Not what I saw.
Graham:That's why there's a chip in the ball, folks.
Scott:The craziest part of that was Cam Ward throwing the pick and the Cardinals player fumbling it, and then the Titans scoring a tutty.
Graham:I you can't replicate that play ever. Like, that is the most ridiculous play I've ever seen. That I saw live, and I was like, what just happened right now?
Scott:Yeah, insane. I I mean survivor leagues, all over were destroyed.
Graham:Dude, in the two leagues we were we were in, 25% of the players that were left, boom.
Scott:I mean, going into the Thursday night game, I wasn't even thinking about the Rams. No, and then I was like, Oh uh the Niners have no Kittle, they have no Purdy, which is another topic. They have a bunch of their wide receivers out. The Rams playing the best football in the NFC barely lost to the Eagles on a blocked field goal attempt to win the game. Yep. Just beat the Colts last week, who were playing amazing football because of another moron that dropped the ball before he crossed the goal line. But there was no doubt eight and a half point favorites. What happens? Mac Jones comes out, lights him up. 14 points, dude. Early in the first quarter. Best game of his career.
Graham:Hands down.
Scott:Dude. Dude. At one point he got hit, and I'm like, he's dead. He's throwing up on himself on the sideline.
Graham:Yeah.
Scott:Then it goes to overtime. And fourth and one and field goal range. Rams could have tied it with what three minutes left? Yeah. You know, who knows what would have happened. But McVay decides to go for it. And not only that, not only that, they missed an extra point. The Rams. Well, that was the killer. They missed the field goal, and your boy Kyron fumbles literally inside the five. Uh, at the one.
Graham:And as it happened, another situation where the refs, not even the refs, commentators didn't say anything. The defender, defensive lineman, whoever it was, who punched the ball out, dude punched him in the face. He literally punched him in the face. You could see his head of the def of the Kyron Williams' head go. If you get punched in the face, do you think you're gonna have the right frame of mind to hold on to the ball correctly? I I don't know. Gets punched in the face, and then as his hand keeps going down, also hits the ball. I thought that was a penalty, but apparently not. I I I I don't know.
Scott:Insane, dude.
Graham:Yeah, I mean at the end at the and the worst part is is the Rams had multiple chances to win that game. When they went for it on fourth down, McVeigh said it at the in his press conference, that loss was on him. That was by far the worst call you can make on fourth and one. It wasn't good. I mean terrible. Like you can't be uh offensive guru, air quotes folks, and make that call. You just can't do it. It was bad. Like very bad. You it's fourth and one. You don't hand the running back the ball out of the shotgun. That that was the play, right? Pretty was it out of the shotgun?
Scott:Dude, all these running plays like shotgun where the running backs seven yards off.
Graham:Yeah, he got tackled three yards behind the line. Like, that's what I'm saying. Like, dude, what are you doing? I I don't know. Yeah, I'm curious to know how many people are left in the circumillion. They haven't said yet. Like, how many people got bounced from that? Oh man, I feel terrible for our friend in the San Diego League. That is barous.
Scott:Two entries. Oh two entries of lost to both.
Graham:It's the perfect I mean, look, I lost my parlays because of them. I also looked for the for the uh the Eagles, but still, I had the Cardinals in every one of them. Teasers, parlays, everything. No, like if there's ever a scenario any given Sunday is true.
Scott:3,624 people took the Rams. Oh 3,100 took the Cardinals.
Graham:Oh 6,500 people.
Scott:38 28% took, like I said, 28% of the people remaining took the Rams, 25% took the Cardinals.
Graham:That's 50%.
Scott:Yeah. Six six point one percent took the Bills.
Graham:Oh, I didn't even think about that.
Scott:Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh my god. Wow. 28 people took the Eagles. Oh yeah. I mean it's the NFL. Guess what? Both teams have players that want to get paid.
Graham:I mean, you always say you gotta you gotta make it to next week, right? In Survivor. Well, all those people they thought they took guaranteed dubs. They're not dude. So fun. Like it's so fun, so stressful. Like, it's it's amazing how you can spend all this time analyzing, think about it for five days, and then you get to the day and you're gonna back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. What had happened? Well, you know.
Scott:I mean, but dude, real quick as we end, major league baseball playoffs. Uh Yankees boat raced. Oof gave up 10 runs yesterday, lost 10 to 1. Today lost 13 to 7. Brewers score nine runs in the first two innings yesterday.
Graham:You know, I'm I would actually be happy to kind of see, you know, maybe someone new. Not new, not like as a first timer, but especially in baseball, you see the same teams win.
Scott:Yeah, because there's no uh whatchamacallit? Salary cap.
Graham:Yeah, and that's my point. So if some of these heavy hitters get bounced, I ain't mad at it. I I I mean, look, to see the brew crew, if they won it, I mean, dude, Badger would have a heart attack, but that'd be awesome for him. I mean, there's other teams, if Seattle, I mean, if there's enough teams where it's just like, you know what? Why don't we let the why don't we let the other kids have a chance?
Scott:Dude, and speaking of Otani last night against the Phillies. Bro. Dude.
Graham:Nasty.
Scott:Nine strikeouts. Beat the Phillies five to three. The guy's stupid.
Graham:Yeah. The best part was Otani gave up the three runs in the second inning, and they still left him in, and he just dominated.
Scott:Yep. Yep. I mean, I don't know. Fucking Tigers won last night in 11 innings, got beat tonight. That series is tied now, one to one. Blue Jays up two games to nothing. National League had the day off. But we got Phillies, Dodgers tomorrow, Cubs, Brewers tomorrow, Brewers up one game to nothing, Phillies down one game to nothing. It's it sucks. And you know, this is playoffs. It sucks. The Dodgers and Phillies are playing each other in the NLC, in the in the NLC, NLDS, sorry.
Graham:Yeah, divisional series, yeah.
Scott:Yeah. Because yeah, they were the best two teams in baseball in the National League. But you know what? That's why they call it playoffs.
Announcer:Thanks.
Scott:You know.
Graham:But with all sports, Seattle. It's not how you got here. It's how you were playing right now.
Scott:You you gotta get in. Yeah. And the thing that sucks, you know, NFL, they reseed. Baseball, they don't reseed. Yeah. But anyhow, uh, guess what starts on Tuesday night, baby? Uh hockey. Let me guess. It's like cold. It's in an arena with sticks in a book. Oh, yeah. Hockey's hockey starts on Tuesday. Let's go. Gotta get your ass over to T-Mobile to see a game.
Graham:I gotta figure out why I'm not getting the same text message discount thread. Like, this is unbelievable. I how you get these ticket discounts, and I'm not getting them. We need to figure it out. I need to make it to a game this year. It's gonna happen. Gotta make some calls. You have to. You gotta do it. Gotta do it.
Scott:You have to. But as we wrap up tonight, uh, someone that was supposed to be on the show tonight, Audrey, uh, huge Washington Redskins fan. Uh, congratulations on your team's win. She texted me. She literally texted me, dude, when we were up 10 and nothing. And I'm gonna find it real quick. She literally texted me and she says, uh, where is it? I'm gonna turn this off for real, for real. And I'm like, stop it, relax. And then they score. I'm like, told you, our offensive line is killing us. She goes, relax. We look desperate. And then I was like, We're doing the show tonight. Can you come on? And she's got her daughter and her granddaughter, grandson there. But, you know, something I gotta say. She goes, Neither of us know how this game is gonna end. But if you win, I'm happy for you, and if you lose, I'm sad for you. Just saying your friendship is way more important. Oh, and I'm like, you know what? I agree. Let's go. Well, for sure. I mean, of course it's gonna come down to that. We're all fans, we're all fans. But Audrey, you're gonna come back on this show at some point. I'm happy for you that your Washington team won. I'm happy for only you, nobody else. The end. Graham, get us out of here. I'm also happy I got to see my girl Melissa Startup.
Graham:All I'm gonna say is, BB, can't wait to have you on the show. Scott, it's always a pleasure doing the podcast with you. And as the best home, why are you looking at me like that? I'm not. Hey, as the best home always says, Bubba.
Scott:Good night, friends. Good night, Rob. Rob, please step away from the edge of the bridge. Relax. Nobody thought we were going 17 and oh. I love everybody.
Graham:Bubba.
Announcer:This episode of the Bald Guys on the Bench Podcast is brought to you by our friends at North Star Credit Union and Southern Islands, located in Southeast Virginia.
